Dr Kim Brown is a global entrepreneur and NLP coach / expert. Supporting entrepreneurs and small business owners among others to personal and business growth they never thought possible.
How you see yourself significantly affects what you believe about yourself and in turn, how you act and behave. I have discussed before about belief systems and that so many entrepreneurs and business owners simply don’t believe in themselves. Well let’s dive deeper into the rabbit hole and talk about identity.
Whether you or someone else around you has labelled your identity, it will ultimately dictate how you behave, what you avoid, what distraction strategies you employ and whether you are empowered or disempowered.
Powerful sentence, right?
The inner self talk and language you use inside your own head will either create magic or destroy your dreams. And it’s unconsciously totally up to you. You get to create it. However, it must be within your conscious awareness before you can change anything.
So many of my breakthrough coaching clients come to me because of their Imposter Syndrome, not believing in themselves. But once we dig a little, the plot thickens a little.
Somewhere along a client’s journey, they took on an identity. Either one they created for themselves, or one that someone else created for them. I have many identities; I am a mum, I am a wife, I am a business owner, I am an NLP Trainer, I am a Success and Empowerment Coach etc. All of these are titles that resonate with me, and of course when I am playing the role that fits the identity, I perform each of these roles to the best of my ability at the time.
But what happens when these identities disempower you? This can be the case where the “label” and therefore the meaning we give the label is not serving you. A simple example can be “I am fat.” Now this can be a very disempowering identity or label compared to “I have fat.” The first is like I embody “being” fat whereas the second is simply a condition I am managing, as in I “have” fat and therefore my mind knows that it could change this condition with a few different choices, whereas “being” fat seems more permanent.
Apply this theory to a few of your own examples and see what feels empowering and what feels disempowering.
“I run a business.” v’s “I am a successful business owner.”
Try it on like a hat and see which one fits better.
“I have diabetes.” v’s “I am diabetic.”
For many clients that I work with that have diabetes, “having” diabetes that they manage is far more empowering and feeling in control than I “am” diabetic. Therefore, separating themselves from the label or identity of diabetes.
I have done this personally with a few of my identities and it works a treat for empowering my decisions. An example is when I am going to the fridge or pantry for a snack, when I put on the identity hat of “I am a healthy person”, it makes selecting an appropriate snack significantly easier than not having that identity. I will even go one step further with it and ask myself, “given I am a healthy person, what would a healthy person choose right now?” This immediately creates the feeling of “trying on” the healthy person’s hat and making a decision from the identity of a healthy person. I personally find it far easier to make a quality decision with that question rather than staring at the fridge or pantry with “I am hungry” making my decisions!
Give it a try! If your relationship needs a boost, put on your “unconditionally loving husband / wife” identity hat before you speak to your partner next. Or your “present and attentive partner” hat, or your “fun and spontaneous” identity hat.
If your business needs a boost and you are the one doing the sales, put on your “I am a multimillion-dollar business owner” hat before making those sales calls. This works when you embody the identity of what you want to be. Really become that person in your full identity before you do the action that will make a difference to the outcome.
What identities could you shift? “I am a procrastinator” could change to “I am an action taker.” “I am always late” could change to “I keep on time always”. “I want to run” could change to “I am a runner.”
These identities can be potent when you really try them on and feel what they mean to you. What would it feel like to be successful at that new empowered identity? Do it at 100% effort and enjoy the results from this very simple process.
To dive in further to your beliefs, habits, and behaviours, visit my website here.